What are you doing for Memorial Day weekend?

I like turtles. 







(It really doesn't get old.)

How Ke$ha ruined my workout

If you could tell your 20-year-old self anything, what would it be?

Stay away from that guy? Floss?

How about, put on some deoderant and stop farting in public?

Now that the school year is over, my local gym is overrun with girls who are home from college for the summer. There are some women who envy these girls, with their fresh faces and sun-taned skin. (That's a whole other issue. I really hope it's spray tan for their sake.)

But I think it's great. And I smile at them and I think their sorority T-shirts are cute and I wonder what their majors are and if they're dating nice boys.

But something has changed.

The soririty T-shirts are big ugly tank tops that would look better on Hulk Hogan.
Their hair is a mess instead of nicely pulled back in a pony tail.
And they fart. Like constantly.

I'm in my kickboxing class, and these nice young girls look like a mess. And they smell like a mess. And they completely ruined my class because instead of gasping for air because of the extreme cardio, I was gasping for fresh air because of all the flatulence in the air.

And as the smell hit me, so did this: Ke$ha did this!

While I'm a fan of her music (concert in August! Yay!), she's dirty and gross. She brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack for goodness sake. And she's ruined both America's youth, and my workout. Thanks a lot, Ke$ha.

Science lesson

The major components of the flatus, which are odorless, by percentage are:

• Nitrogen: 20–90%
• Hydrogen: 0–50%
• Carbon dioxide: 10–30%
• Oxygen: 0–10%
• Methane: 0–10%

Palm test prevents facepalms

Anyone can write a blog. Not everyone can write for the Web. 

But there's an easy, at-home test you can apply to your writing to make it Web-a-fied. It's called the "Palm Test." Here's how:

Hold your open palm up to the screen. Yes, you. Don't feel silly -- just do it. 

Look at what's behind your hand. If all that's behind your palm is solid text, nobody is reading. That doesn't mean your content is intelligent, well-written or interesting. Just means nobody is reading your intelligent, well-written and interesting copy. 

So now what? Faceplam? 

No! Just break up your text to make it scan-able and engage readers. 

There are lots of ways to do it:

• Add bold lead ins
• Embed hyperlinks
• Break up lists/thoughts of two or more into bullets 
• Add subheads 

Want more? Check out Ann Wylie's 5 Ways to Improve Your Copy on PRSA.

In writing, sometimes less is more

Short messages can be powerful messages. Just see SMITH magazine's Six Words.

On the site, users submit stories. Only they are in six words. Topics vary, but check these out:

• Six Word Memoirs
• Six Words on the Food Life
• Six Words on the Green Life
• Six Words on the Digital Life

The site has some powerful storytelling. It's a good reminder for writers. In writing, less is sometimes more.

Thesaurus for techies

Astonishing. Brilliant. Phenomenal.

There are lots of word we can use in place of "awesome." But if you're like me, you send to over-use that word when describing new technology and cool stuff.

You could just use a thesaurus to find a new word, but if you're tech-savvy, how about an "awesome button"?

Check out how Matt Richardson of Make Magazine made an Awesome Button to help him avoid overusing the word in his writing.

Jackpot

When you win the lottery, every person you've ever met in your life triest to cash in on your prize. You get this great, life-changing win, but in the end you don't know who your friends are.


For most people, our major life-changes will consist of losses intead of wins: breakups, layoffs, deaths. You're dealt this sad, life-changing loss, but in the end you know exactly who your friends are.


Your friends listen to you as you go on, and on and on. They are your voice of reason. Your strength. They remind you who are and why tomorrow will be great again. And then there are the people in your life who surprise you and go so far out of their way to show you they care in ways you never expected. They come out of nowhere and make you feel loved, and there's no cash-reward in the end.


It's the opposite of winning the lottery, but way better. Thanks. :)

Phras.In

Check out this site: http://phras.in/

It was created to help writers decide how to choose words that are easy to understand (especially with readers who speak English as their second language) based on Google search results.  

Their theory is that if an expression or phrase has a high result, it’s the more common way to say it; lower numbers denote more difficult or awkward phrases.

Not sure how much relevance this holds, but it might help you out if you’re ever stuck on word choice (and don’t want to turn to flipping a coin).